I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
