and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
