Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
