try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
