Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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