Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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