haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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