last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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