aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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