To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
