I accidentally burped into my bong.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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