How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
