i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My balls are so social today.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
