Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hippo gnu deer
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
