But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
