i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
