totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
