please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
