In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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