just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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