just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
