I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
