That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
