I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize