No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
