That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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