sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I would ride that face into the sunset
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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