how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
