Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
