I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
