Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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