I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
