Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
