This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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