so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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