JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
