is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
