what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
