Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We had sex on a dog bed..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
