I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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