Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
