I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
