Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
