I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
