it wasn't lemon gatorade
no, he came in my armpit
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
