yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
