Non-Jews are for practice
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
