Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
