You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
