Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
