I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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