He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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