the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Randomize
