I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
