You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
